Confessions of an Ultra-Low Calorie Beer

Miller Genuine Draft 64

You're not getting what you pay for in that Ultra-Low Calorie Beer. You know those domestic brands that differentiate themselves by literally telling you how many calories are in the can or bottle by putting it in the name. I'm looking at you Miller 64 and Bud Select 55. Perhaps it's excellent brand positioning that makes the consumer feel good about ingesting a fraction of the calories, but not sacrificing on achieving the buzz you expect from throwing a few beers back.

According to Miller64's website,

"Miller 64 is brewed for the you that puts in work because it's worth it."  

 Similarly, Bud Select 55's about says,

 "Select 55 is brewed to complement the full-flavor of Select, but with only 55 calories. So you can be good, and still have a good time."

Obviously there's a common theme between the two brands who are pursuing the same customer segment -- the calorie conscious, active lifestyle, (most likely) younger demo 21-35 year old.

However, what these beers fail to communicate is that if you are expecting to achieve that same level of tipsiness from drinking the reduced calorie line extension, then you're in for a disappointing surprise.

In fairly easy research and simple calculations, one can uncover the calories and ABV % for various brands of beer. To no surprise, the ultra-low calorie beers have a lower ABV %, but do they pack a stronger alcoholic punch as a ratio to calories than their more well-known brand cohorts? From this information, a user can figure out the "efficiency" of their beer -- that is the amount of pure alcohol to the number of calories. All measurements are based on 12 Oz. servings.

Efficiency of Ultra-Low Calorie Beers to Brand Cohorts

Based on these calculations, these ultra-low calorie beers had the same "Efficiency" as their more caloric counterparts. If you ended up drinking two regular Miller Lites, you would consume the same number of calories and alcohol as drinking exactly three Miller 64s. A 3 to 2 ratio starts to add up when you begin to factor in the price you're paying. Even more extreme, for every two Budweiser Selects you drink, you would need to drink roughly 3.6 Bud Select 55s to achieve the same buzz.

So if "efficiency" is something you're trying to achieve, these ultra-low calorie beers are actually the same as their brand cousins on a alcohol to calorie ratio. To put it more simply, you'll eventually consume the same amount of calories to get the same amount of alcohol resulting in a wash. If you're willing to drink a couple of beers and are more calorie conscious, then go for the Select 55s or Miller 64s. But if you're trying to achieve the same schnockered feel with those ultra-low calorie beers, don't. Go with the more caloric options, it'll cost less, and you won't have to consume as much liquid.